Friday, December 15, 2006


I'm sad..
my heart is broken again..
I fell for her since the 1st time we talked..
we clicked..
each one of us had a big big crush on the other..
but I said something as a joke and it ruined everything..
maybe she doesn't wana talk to me again..
she thinks I'm this rude person..
I really want to be with her..
she's special..

Sunday, December 03, 2006


If anyone who trusted me gave me their password..I would never look at something I shouldn't be looking at..I would just go and do what i was asked to do and thats it.

I once gave an ex bf one of my account's passwords..he checked all my inbox msgs and accused me of betraying him with some guy..while i was just fooling around with a friend who is a girl
(her nickname didn't show that she was a girl).
and laptop was with one of my close friends who I trust more than my self
(but who doesn't know that I'm into girls)..
at that time she called and asked for my permission to take a look at the files and pictures in my laptop.
ofcourse I said yes..but I never thought that she'd go and read my chat logs..and which chat logs? the ones between me and R..she knew my secret..she remained silent for two weeks..then she came to talk to me about it few days ago.
the surprise is:
she's also into girls..and she's been through what I've been through..

why are people so nosey :S !!
I'd never go and read anyone's chat logs :S or email msgs cuz it could hurt me or I could know something I never knew about and it could change my life or my relationship with that person !
so I'm always on the safe side..

ok here's another thing..
people nowadays are talking about (MOI) kinno mafi ella ana bildinya..
and saying that (MOI) is gay.

the problem is:
-I'm a shy, deep person !
-I never show anything !
-Nothing says that I'm gay!
-Not my clothes, nor the way i act !
-I don't have lesbian friends !
-I never had a true GF !
-Almost NO ONE knows about me
(except my ex's,my closest cousin,2 close friends who would nevertalk and few and I say FEW net friends who don't even know any personal info about me !)
-I never flirted with any girl at all :S

and I was also wondering about something else..
A Dr would love to be called a Dr (without doubt)
A teacher would love to be called a teacher..
but WHY..
a lesbian would hate to be called a lesbian..
I'm sure some girls are proud of this thing, and some others aren't ..
but why are we hiding it..
why do we lose our tempers when someone says that about us
(when its the truth)..

that's all I have to say for now..