Wednesday, September 13, 2006

My confessions

I'm not a typical bad girl.
I mean I dont drink,smoke,have sex or take drugs.
I also don't do guys.
I'm a lesbian.
but it's not something I'm proud of.
It's not something my friends or family or anyone know about.
It's my dark little secret.

I hate tomboys & girly girls.
my type is just different and I'm not anything near a tomboy or a girly girl.
I'm just me. most of my friends are straight, and those who aren't,never really admit it but i just know.

how did this happen?
it started a few years ago..
when this girl i know started dragging me into her dirty world.
when she started being nice to me and loving me like no one ever did.
I was blinded and amazed by a feeling i never experienced before.
our relationship didn't last for so long,it just ended for some reason.
and that's when I realized how much I needed someone in my life,
someone who could love me like she did.
someone who is a girl.

everyone thinks I'm too innocent to do anything wrong..
but how shocking will it be when they find out that I'm a lesbian?

sometimes I think of getting help and telling someone about it because it's not who I wanna be. but I couldn't.

anyways I just came back from my summer vacation and I'm so tired and confused.
I have many important things to think about ..
R is so not treating me well..
I haven't seen her for a while now.
and every time I invite her over she has this really lame excuse so I'll start being rude and careless.
I guess it's the best solution for now.


At 9:24 PM, Blogger Fuchsia Spunk said...

I just found out that a girl I've known since I was a kid, is a lesbian now. It's weird...because no one ever expected her to become one.
Do you really want help? Is it something you really want to change?
Maybe you should talk to someone about it.

Or maybe you just need to meet the right guy ;)

At 2:31 PM, Blogger mei said...

ana a3t8ed a'3labeyat el banat yeb'3on eno ye7bon a7d be 7ayathom o eno yeb8a ma3ahom lel abd , hathey el bint 2athrt 3aleeke bs inty ely te8darey twa5re hatha el 2athar o ba3deen etha re7te ma3 bint thania ya3ny heya ra7 teb8a ma3akey lel abd? ma a3t8ed ,fa inty yeamken 7ebete hathey el bint o ma 8ed be 7ayatek 7esete be hatha sho3oor o yeamken enk e8tan3tey eno ma feh yom men el ayam eny ra7 a7eb wald bs 9ad8ene eno fe awlad mara 6aybeen be hathey denya bs 9a3eb tla8enhom o ana a3t8ed enk ra7 tla8een ely yele8lek yom men el ayam bs ed3ey rabek 9ad8ene! sorry 3ala el comment 7a8tey 6ewela :S

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Misplaced Girl said...

surfing on the net... found ur blog!
The text attracted me to read it... and I did.
Maybe you don't feel proud of who you are... but I think you should!
You know I've never been near a situation like that and sure I cant be so much experienced about this topic but I think that if I were you I would not be ashame.

I think... if I ever fall in love for a girl it will not be something I won't be proud of... Of course it's hard to admit it to the family and friends but I think the first step is not to hide it from yourself!! If you keep true to yourself is way easier!

at least... you won't feel guilty for a feeling you cannot control: love! Matter of fact, noone can!

hope to hear more from you...


At 7:26 AM, Blogger شخبوط said...

if you're ashamed of being so, do something about it. Unless you you want to tell the whole world that you are a saudi and a lesbian. seems you're proud of it.

At 9:48 AM, Blogger شخبوط said...

what you might get here is preverts telling you not to be ashamed of "love". Look for pro-counseling if you really want to become a straight human bieng.


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